Neville the Ladie's Man
by Awkwardness
Summary: For Neville's brithday he get's something that will change him forever, sexaully that is! He then teams up with none other than Draco Malfoy! with sexy results? You'll find out
1. Neville's Magical Birthday!

DISCLAIMER: I didn't invent the magical world of Harry Potter, only the strange part where Neville gets his magical.... well you'll find out! have fun and thanks to my friend Buns that helped me think of something for Mr. Pudding here (don't ask)

CH 1-Neville's magical Birthday!

No one ever pays attention to Neville Longbottom, he thought, but now they will. Now no one will laugh at his name. They wont point or make fun. They'll just remember he's the one who did it. He's the one who got the pimp cane.

It all started on a cold morning, one of those joyful cold crisp air mornings that make you want to dance with bears with British hats, not one of those muggy dark mornings that make you want to kick a bear with a German suit on (A/N: not that there's anything wrong with it! frankly that would be hilarious!). Anywhoo back to the story, it was Neville's 16th birthday! Can you believe it? He's sixteen! He wasn't too excited though, he knew Draco Malfoy would do something to him. You know curse him, hex him, even the whole shamboodle, frankly Neville was scared out of his teddy bear p-jammies. 

Draco awoke that morning with a sudden joy. Today was Longbottom's birthday. This would be sweet he would get him good on his sweet sixteen. OH the joy.

Neville walked down the stairs to the Great Hall to eat breakfast. Boy, was he a hungry birthday boy! He ate everything in sight. Ron, who was sitting next to him, was scared to touch his fork 'cause he thought Neville would eat his hand. Ron was a weird boy for thinking this of course. Neville would never do that to his friend.

When they were all done eating (Neville had to unbutton and unzip his pants and lay back for a while), a huge owl came down and dropped a huge package on Neville. Unfortunately, since his pants were unzipped and the package was thin, its fell into his pants. Everyone started laughing, especially Draco Malfoy, now he had a lot to work with. Red in the face, Neville package out of his pants, zipped them up, and ran to his dorm.

He opened the package slowly. In the package was a cane. A long, smooth cane in gold. Diamonds came up the front and a huge diamond lay on the top. Neville examined it carefully. Who gave this to him? Oh that doesn't matter! He has a cane and a pimp cane at that! He continued to examine it and he pressed the big diamond at the top and just below it a little compartment opened. He looked into it and said excitedly, "OH! I can put my candy in there!" He looked down and saw candy canes on the floor and put it in the compartment and shut it. He rushed back down to the Great Hall to show everyone his precious gift. Then he stopped, he would look like a poser if he ran so he decided to strut and strut he did!

Once he reached the hall everyone gasped. Was this person really Neville? Neville usually doesn't strut or have a pimp cane. But, on the other hand, it was his 16th birthday, maybe he wanted a little change. 

The girls were so excited about this. He looked so well different, you couldn't explain, only that if you saw him you would melt and start fanning yourself while making strange noises. The girls weren't the only ones to change their attitude once they saw Neville, boys gaped, whimpered, cried, and shook their fists in anger. Draco was an exception to this, he just looked Neville up and down and thought, "He can be part of my pimp clan! I wish I had a cane like that though, mine's only zebra striped!"

Neville sat in between Hermione and Harry and on top of Ron. Hermione simply fainted and Neville caught her. Harry, who looked so jealous that he caught Hermione, tapped him and gave a sort of pouting "I Love You" look. Neville slapped him and said, " Get off it man! I you wanna be gay, go out with Ron here," He said pointing at Ron. Ron gave a sort of weird face and shook his head no, but Harry didn't get the big picture and went at it. He did not know what he was doing obviously, cause Ron was able to get out and rip Hermione out of Neville and say, "You can have any other girl in this room but not my precious Hermione!!!" Son Neville moved on.

Success! He got 15 girls, and on his first try, too! All over him they walked out of the Great Hall and up to Neville's dorm. Draco, so jealous, never got 15 girls ran up to get some fun. He should train Neville!

Ikay! (that's our new word for ok) that's the end of that chapter! hope you like! Review plz! I promise there will be more to come if I don't get hit by a coffee mug that says I Love Donating Blood! I'm leaving now to eat pretzels being me (Professor Pretzel long story if u don't no) as I am so later for now............... review!


	2. All You Need is Practice!

DISCLAIMER: Still don't own this magical world! If I did do you think I'd be typing this message? *Neville jabs author with prickly bush* Yes Pockets! NO Neville don't call me that! not for boys! ill explain origin of name if people want to know so read and dont forget REVIEW!

~All You need is practice!~

"Gee golly jeepers!" Neville thought to himself. How HE got these girls he did not know, and Harry followed too. Harry couldn't help that he wanted some fun. Let alone his deep feelings for Neville.

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Draco was close behind Neville and his group of women and Harry. Neville was going to be horrible at this, Draco thought. He knew nothing in the bedroom, unless............... No he couldn't have had relations. 

Neville stopped in front of a painting of a ugly, fat woman and said a word (password obviously) the word was Peepers. the portrait opened. Draco followed.

Neville went up into his room. He was so nervous, he had no idea what he was doing. Harry out of a fit of love (of course!) ran at Neville and kissed passionately. Neville, terrified, didn't know what to do so he frenched Harry back. And what a horrible sight it was! One of the girls, fed up with this bad picture in front of her took Neville and forced him on the bed. All the rest and Harry tackled him, in a big horrible orgy. Neville was extremely grossed out! How can people like Draco, Seamus, Fred and George do this all the time? 

Right when Neville was thinking the worst of this sex-thing, Draco came in like a heroic figure and immediately all the girls were on him, drawn to his charm. "Go," he said, " I will get to you all later. UGH! Not you Harry!" He yelled at Harry who was sucking on his fingers giving him puppy-dog eyes. Ever so shamed all the girls and an unconvinced but willing to leave Harry left.

"Thank you!" Neville exclaimed. " I don't know how you people can do this stuff! I mean all the girls and, er, guys drooling for you. It's all too much!"

"All you need," Draco said calmly, "is a little practice! You don't get fifteen girls.... and Harry! You can get up to THREE girls and guys total. Any more will make the bedroom crowded. You also need to know you don't always need to go to the bedroom." Draco winked "You should practice anywhere and everywhere you can!"

"But who do I practice with?" Neville asked ever so curiously

"We have what you call 'trainer sluts' for situations like those! Since you are in Gryffindor, you get Hermione!"

"Hermione is a hooker? But she's so uptight and is always in the library-"Neville started

"Ever wonder why she's ALWAYS in the library?" Draco raised an eyebrow

"You mean that's her place?" Neville was so confused. Many times he was in the library and he has never seen Hermione doing anything a bit naughty. 

"No, not exactly. That's where she picks up the guys. Kind of like those muggles and corners, It's Hermione and libraries!" Draco explained.

"Oh that's why she asked me if I wanted a good time!" It was all coming to Neville now

"You gettin' it now? Good. Then let's walk the grounds and I'll tell you what you should know, how to make money, if you stay with me kid you'll do great. You have great material, I mean wow you got so much more built this summer! Girls like muscle, so you gotta work out! We can be partners. We even have canes!" Draco said this all too excitedly 

"Speaking of which," Neville said, "By chance you weren't the person who gave me the cane are you?"

"No, but you have some friend out there. I wonder who the pimp is." Draco wondered. They walked out of the Gryffindor rooms and into the hallways of Hogwarts. A girl with brown hair and brown eyes walked by. "Hey Cathy, baby! How you been?" Draco said smooth like a fox, "Wanna do something tomorrow?"

"Oh, Draco, I love it when you talk to me, but, well, I'm doing something with Sam tomorrow. Bye!" And with that she left.

"Even the bests do get turned down. Especially by girls with boyfriends or something. Cathy was known as a skank with people as a joke but she did like the guys. I guess she's finally found one moron to be with," Draco sighed. But his face lightened up as a girl with brown hair and green eyes came by. "Oh, Buns! How's it shaking?" She looked interested until a boy ran up to her and she turned to talk to him.

"Oh hey, Jared!" she exclaimed and they trailed off together

At this point Neville started to laugh, "How am I supposed to learn techniques from you if you can't get a girl?"

"I can, but they all have guys. Oh here comes another one!" he said as a girl with blonde hair and blue-green eyes came along. Draco trapped her by the wall. "Katie, want a little fun tonight." 

She gave a little stiff laugh and looked around for something until she spotted a boy. She then turned and ran away from Draco and hugged the boy, "Jesse! I was looking for you!" She said to them and she hurried him away.

Neville laughed again, " I think I'm better off on my own thanks!"

Draco was very angered at this point, "Neville, just wait a minute! Maybe you should try it yourself if your so smart."

And at that a girl with brown hair and highlights walked into the hallway. Neville ran up to her, "Hey! Um..... Do you wanna go for a walk around the grounds tomorrow night? At like...6:00?"

She giggled, "Sure! You're so cute!"

Neville blushed, "I think we're in the same house so I'll wait for you by the portrait."

Still giggling she said, "Okay. By the way I'm Stephie. We are in the same house, I've noticed you for quite some time!" she kissed him on the cheek, "See you tomorrow night then!" and at that, she walked away.

Draco was pissed, " First time luck!" he shouted, "But you acted all nervous out there! You need to calm down and relax! By tomorrow you should get to first base at least! You have an advantage, she liked you before you talked!"

"Yeah," Neville said thoughtfully, " But how will I learn it all?

"We can do it. I trained a guy in an hour once and he's so studly!" Draco exclaimed.

"Who was it?" Neville asked

"Seamus. Seamus Finnigan," he said. Right at that point Pansy Parkinson, a poser trying to be a whore, but very unsuccessful, walked by. She wore a mini skirt and red tube top with badly put on make up. She pushed Draco up to the wall and made out with him, he of course looked like he would vomit in her mouth.

"See you tonight, lover," She said and stuffed 20 galleons into Draco's pants, then left.

"I guess that will give me an excuse from her tonight," he sighed. Anything to get away from Pansy is a great reward.

END OF CHAPTER!

Sorry stuff was left out before! My computer didn't save *glares at computer which cringes in horror HEY! can they really do that?* Well thanks for your so many *hint that means bring more* reviews, even without a reminder at the end! I hope to make a record of ten count em' TEN reviews. cuz no body likes me *proceeds to worm song* everybody hates me I think I'll eat some worms!...and so on! so I think I need some inspiration to the next chapter *hint hint!* Bubye!


	3. Draco's Teaching Date

DISCLAIMER::::::::::: oh I went wild with those colons! well anyway how stupid are some people to think I own the Magical Harry Potter world? meh, they'll learn someday, hopefully. and in case they don't get the hint, I DON'T OWN MAGICAL HARRY! the end!

~Draco's Teaching Date~

"Well, if you have to learn how to be smooth on a date, maybe you should watch me," Draco said ever so importantly, "But all we need is a girl for me."

"How about Pansy, she seemed to like you," Neville laughed

"Oh geez, don't make me puke, okay? That's just nasty man!" Draco gagged

"Oh I know," the magical light bulb struck Neville, "Hermione!"

"Good idea, old chum!" Draco smiled. 

"Aroo?" Neville asked like a dog, tilting his head, so very confused.

"That's besides the point Neville! Okay, but Hermione can't know you're watching so you got to know how to hide. Let's say we are walking like you will and there are bushes-" Draco said like he was talking to a 3-year-old.

"I know how to hide, Draco. I'm not a moron!" (A/N: he he moron, only the ppl that know will know) Neville rolled his eyes.

"Okay now to find Hermione! You should hide somewhere in the library, but so you can see, then you know how to ask the women good." Draco said taking out some hair gel out of his pocket and slicking his hair back some more.

"Okay fine!" So they ventured off to the library. Once they got in, Neville ran under a table and watched as Draco went to hit on Hermione.

"So, Hermione, busy tonight?" He asked ever so suave.

"Not anymore!" She said giggling.

"How 'bout a walk around grounds tonight? I'll meet you in the entrance hall in a half hour." He said giving a little bit of puppy eyes, but sounding so confident.

"Sure!" she said still giggling, and threw her book away, and ran out of the library and got yelled at several times. 

Neville climbed out from under the table, "How did you do that so well?"

"You got to have confidence, with some sympathy given by the girls, so a little puppy eyes. You got to be very suave, know what you're doing and if you don't, then pretend you do," Draco said. Wow is he a teacher or what?!-Neville thought. 

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Just a half hour later, Draco was waiting for Hermione in the Entrance Hall. Neville hiding behind a group of first years, looking scared that he was standing next to them trying to look causal. At last Hermione came and Draco escorted her by the arm outside. Neville crept on his tippy-toes out the door. He watched Draco have his arm on her shoulder, eventually massaging her to the hip. She giggled some more and kissed Draco on the cheek. Neville put this all down in a Scooby Doo notebook he had in his pocket and a Pig (just a regular pig...) pencil, and followed hiding bhind every bush possible. He wanted to get ahead of Draco to see what he was doing face first, but as he was starting to run forward he noticed Draco's hand going lower and towards Hermione's butt. She looked at him and pushed him to the ground and fell on top of him. Neville did a gasp hitting his left cheek. OH my god! Are they gonna do more than making out? Neville was so bewildered by this. Hermione went up still on top of Draco and started unbuttoning his shirt, taking it off and throwing it in a random place. Yup, Neville was sure they were going to do it. He wondered, are they still virgins? Hmmm, if they are people that pick up other people probably not. 

Hermione proceeded to take off her blouse and unbutton Draco's pants. Wow are they frisky! Neville continued to think, then quickly wrote it down in his notebook. He then heard a noise, someone was yelling at Hermione and Draco from the building, and running to them, too. They quickly put on their clothes and ran towards Neville's bush. Neville panicked and jumped into the bush as they ran behind it.

The person yelling at them turned out to be Filch (big surprise there) and looked around confused for them. He couldn't see in the dark so he gave up. Hermione and Draco full of emotion and fear instantly started making out and proceeded to other doings of that type and Neville wrote it all down in the notebook.

END OF CHAPTER!~ Yay! I finally finished the chapter. Sorry it took so long. I started a while ago and now I got bored and finished. I hoped you liked it! Please review and give me some inspiration, I hope that's the right word...... ok! so review! 


	4. Draco's Date Part Two

DISCLAIMER: If u were wondering, yes I do own Harry! Bought him yesterday! ONLY JOKING! If I did I would be FILTHY RICH!!! But no, so that's why disclaimee is here (hehe I named it!)

~THE SECOND PART OF DRACO'S DATE~

Harry was looking everywhere for Neville. Ever since this afternoon he had so many feelings. He wanted Neville so bad! He walked around asking people if they saw any trace of him. When he got to Seamus he said, "I think I saw him going out the Great Hall with Hermione and-"

"Thanks, Seamus!" Harry shouted and was already halfway through the door. The thing he was unable to hear was Hermione was with DRACO. Otherwise he would have been less worried. He feared Neville was going to do something not exactly right with Hermione. He needed to keep Neville to him all his own. He only got that cane so he could get publicity with me, Harry thought.

Neville was still in the bush watching Draco and Hermione go at it like busy beavers building a dam, and fast! He then heard a noise from the school and saw a figure run out of it. It couldn't be Filch, Filch ran like a man, and it wasn't a girl, he could tell. It was definitely a gay boy at the school! He watched as the figure came closer and closer to Draco and Hermione having foreplay behind the bush. Uh oh.

Hermione was blindfolding Draco as the boy ran up. The boy knocked Hermione aside and she fell to the ground unconscious in her underwear. "Baby, where'd ya get to?" Draco asked in a weird tone.

"Right here," said the boy in a girlish voice, doing a very good impression of Hermione. It obviously had to be someone she knew to do it that well. It can't have been Ron, he liked her and would have knocked out Draco, so it was Harry it was kind of clear he was gay. With the trying to make out with Neville thing.

Just then, Neville flipped Draco over to the back and was about to go to the back of him when Draco piped up, " Shouldn't I be doing it baby?"

"What ever you want, Neville," He responded, not knowing it was Draco and obviously thinking it was Neville, he really should have listened to Seamus all the way! Draco, oblivious to that Harry just called him Neville flipped him around (he is still blindfolded by the way) and started to go in the butt, he stopped when he heard a moan. A masculine moan.

He ripped off him blindfold and looked at who it was. Harry nor Draco knew who they were with, but when at the first glance, they screamed. Draco more terrified, Harry even more pleased, pulled Draco close to him and Draco pulled away and punched him in the face. Harry fell to the ground unconscious. Neville just sat it the bush watching it all. Too stunned to move, mouth hanging open, eyes wide.

"Neville?" Draco did a whining type cry, "Neville are you out there?"

Neville popped out of the bush in a jolt, "Yeah, I'm here."

Draco looked at him and slapped him, "You saw all of that and didn't even try to stop it? I should kill you!"

"No! No! I was too shocked! Please, just settle down,"

"You expect me to settle down? Are you insane? Do you know how bad this is going to ruin my reputation? People are going to look at me weird and-" Draco panicked.

"Not if we make Harry shut up," Neville figured. Geez, it wasn't that hard to figure that out.

"But how? But HOW?" Draco screamed. Neville slapped him.

"What's your major malfunction, Private?"

"WHAT?!"

"Sorry always wanted to say that," Neville tried to explain. "Well, we can blackmail him."

"But what do we have?" Draco whimpered

"He did push down Hermione, we couldn't let her know he tried to hurt her to get to me, technically you, and we can threaten him with Ron. Ron loves Hermione, if he tells we'll spill to him that she's a whore, Harry would never want to hurt Ron."

"Good thinking little buddy," Draco said smoothing his hair, "Do you have some paper?" Neville gave him his notebook and pencil and Draco started to write down the blackmail. He ripped it out of the notebook and put it on Harry so when he woke up he would read it, they weren't about to carry him inside the castle. Too heavy. Hermione on the other hand.....

WOOHOO! I finally wrote another chapter! Yay! Sorry this took so long, but I got up with homework and laziness, all together I didn't write for a while! Thanks for reviews from last chapter! And if you read this chapter, just not this part, my computer was stupid! There was more fun! SORRY!

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Ronsspawn: Here's Harry! I give you action! And don't worry Ron will get something, maybe with his dream girl...*wink* Can't get enough Ron, I'll have to write a Ron thing.

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Fang-Gurlie: Pink fluffy handcuffs...good! I'll use that soon possibly....

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Solastar: Woo! You reviewed mine twice! Thumbs up? So honored! Sorry for the delay, I also have some ideas for the next chapter so hopefully more soon!

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Snoozerpurfle: Wow. Glad you liked the pimp cane! It's fun with those. No one does seem to find anything with the compartment in Neville's.... not for candy.....

FOR YOU PEOPLE THAT DIDN'T REVIEW: Do it! Do it now! No pressure or anything! I just want petty little fans, make me feel good! 


	5. Blackmail and the Morning After

DISCLAIMER: GAH! How I hate these things! Anyone stupid enough to sue a teen for writing these little stories is an idiot! On a note- not my Magical Harry Potter.

~Blackmail and the Morning After~

Neville and Draco carried in Hermione to the castle, getting strange and messed up looks from people. They went into the Gryffindor boys dorms, and laid Hermione on the bed. They figured out what kind of blackmail they should write. It turned out like this:

TO: HARRY POTTER

FROM: PIMPALICIOUS 

Harry, you are being blackmailed. By none other than us! If you tell anyone of what happened that one night outside of school with the man situations -you know what I'm talking about- we will let something spill to your friend Ron. More than one person saw what you did out there. You know how much Ron likes Hermione, if he ever found out she was a whore, it would kill him. So keep your mouth shut, or else we wont. If you really want to reply us, put your letter in the Owl Infirmary, box 11.

They looked very satisfied with their blackmail note. Now their next problem was Hermione, what to do? Well, since Neville hasn't had a date before, Draco would teach him some points.

"These here are boobs. I'm sure you've noticed them before, since you like girls. The thing about these are, don't look at them! If she notices, you can ruin your whole night. So, you wait for the invitation," He explained

"But how will I know? I don't think she'll come right out and say, 'Take a look!'" He said frantically, writing down everything he could on his notebook.

"Good question! Well first to get an invitation, act studly! Know the stud walk! You walk like a rodent," Draco said strutting back and forth, "Okay, now try it." 

And what a sight it was! The two Stud Muffins were strutting around the room, when Hermione woke up! "What the Hell?"

"Oh, sorry about that, I was teaching Neville to-" Hermione cut Draco off.

"Oh. Yes, Neville, Draco has good strategies, but it only works for guys like him. The thing that would help you the most is walking straight. You walk hunched. But girls like the shy guys, I seem to want them more......Unless they're ugly, I mean REALLY ugly," Hermione told him. He wrote this all down, but she tore the notebook away from him, "Yeah, you could write it down. But it's better if you pay attention. Now! Neville do you know how to dance?"

"No," he mumbled.

"WHAT? Sound confident, if you don't know, don't be scared. Guys that are too scared don't get women. There's a line between shy and wimpy."

"NO!" he shouted

"Better! I'm actually a bit turned on," She complimented

"Me too!" Draco exclaimed. They turned to look at him, "Okay, I'll shut up."

"Okay Neville. Dancing. You would probably be slow dancing and that isn't hard. It depends on how she comes at you. If both of her hands go to your neck, both of yours goes to her hips to her waist, wherever she'll let you go. However, if one arm is out the other way, take your and hold hers up and put your hand on her waist or hips again. Easy, right?" She asked

"Yes," he said, more confident. Draco fanned himself from his melting at Neville.

"As I said, don't be afraid, be yourself, remember how to dance, just in case, you'll be fine," Hermione reassured him, "Well I'm going to bed! You guys should, too. If you want to start off the Saturday good, and practice some more."

The next morning, Neville got up and got dressed with a start. He went to the common room, passed a making out Ron and Hermione.....then he backtracked. He stared for a few minutes. Ron looked up and sarcastically said, "Take a picture, it lasts longer," and he went back to kissing. Neville didn't know he was sarcastic, so he did!

He walked all through the school thinking about what Hermione said. Maybe I can really win the girl that way, he thought. He continued thinking about it, looking at the ceiling, when he walked right into Draco, "That would be the ceiling," he said getting up.

"Duh, I'm thinking here Captain Obvious," Wow! Neville was getting better at comebacks! Little by little, he may even be a master........On second thought, no.

"Well we can do that later, we have to get you ready!" Draco shrieked like a giddy schoolgirl.

"That's what I was thinking about, Captain....Jingle Pants!" Nope Neville isn't a master, yet. Maybe I spoke too soon...

"Who told you about that?" Draco said petrified.

"What?" Neville never knew his lousy comeback would strike something that actually happened that was a striking moment in someone's life! He realized it was good to figure out information, he tried to cover up that what, "I mean, oh yeah. I knew. _Everyone _knows."

"You can't be serious," Draco whimpered.

"Serious is as serious does," now he was sounding like a pimped up Forrest Gump! (A/N: Remember his mother always said, 'Stupid is as stupid does.') 

"How long have you known?" Draco asked, pulling himself together.

"For quite some time now," He replied, so suave!

"Then, you better hear the true story from me, what you probably heard was a twisted truth........ Along time ago, in my fourth year. I was a virgin. I was ready to lose it, to the right girl. See back then I was stupid and didn't know the pleasure, so I was waiting to find someone true and beautiful. That's when I saw Hermione, she was stupid back then, too she wanted it, but wanted a good person. She fell for my charm, we dated secretly, then I popped the cherry, and we realized it felt so good. We kept doing it, we decided to start a business, then realized the older teens already had one so we were the top 2 in our year. But the thing about me, when I do it, it whistles,"

"What?" Neville was so dense.

"My wang, genius. God, sometimes I don't know why I try anymore. But It makes a whistling type noise. It was like a bell some said. So the ladies gave me the nickname of Captain Jingle Pants," Draco said looking so shamed.

"I get the actual telling of how you got the name, but what's with the life story?" Neville asked, tilting his head to the side like a dog.

"I figured you might want to know how I got here," Draco said, thinking it's what he wanted.

"No, not really," Neville looked like he just wasted his precious time.

"Oh, ok," Draco looked down. Sadness struck him.

"That's okay. I would have figured it out anyway. Now you have to help me with the preparation of my date," Neville said getting worried again. Those stupid teenage minds, all they think about is sex, SEX, _SEX!_ Just then Stephie, yes the girl he asked out, happened to walk by. She of course noticed him.

"Oh! Hey Neville! I was wondering, for our date, can we meet at the swimming pool instead? Swimming sounds like a good date." She asked him twirling her hair and looking as cute as a bug's ear!

"Okay," Neville drooled. Men *shakes head* and with that she said bye, waved at him and Draco and left. Neville drooled after her then realized something, very panicky he shook Draco, "I don't know how to swim! Draco you got to teach me! NOW!"

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Wow! What suspense eh? Thanks for the **_three _**reviewers! That's a hint to you people *nudges fat man standing next to her for no reason!* hey who are you?! *man runs away* well here are some notes to my wonderous reviewers, that's not a word but who's counting?

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u-know-who formerly known as sak- well here's some more for your entertainment! Did you only read that little first part in the fic? cuz the computer didn't load all of it, there was more!

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Insane with Anger- Hey Moopie! well you have to read this now! I think I will use tube socks! Oh! Oh! I got it! ZOOP! You can't go wrong with hot Steamy POTATOES either..

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Ronsspawn- yes maybe I should find Ron another whore...... If Draco liked Harry he would be a little more than we thought he was right?

This was my longest chapter ever! Go me! I'm so proud! Well to you people who are reading this very sentence, a message to you: REVIEW! please!

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